Of tieing shoes and other victories

It was a momentous morning in the Goodwin household this morning. You see after months of work and trying and frustration my sweet Avarie has successfully ...

TIED HER OWN SHOE!!!!

The victorious knot!

It was a proud moment for Matt and I as the light of victory came into her eyes. I loved to see her beaming with pride as I carefully inspected her knot to see if this was the time that she "really had done it all on her own." And reflecting on this in the car on the way to work this morning all I could think of is that this moment was one of those great joys of parenting - as amazing and humbling to watch as a little ones first steps.

There are a lot of "non-joys" of parenting  - being peed on, being vomited on, worrying through the night as you hear your little ones coughing in the room next door - but they can't compare to these joys. It's mindblowing to me how many of the little victories add up to make my day feel like its worth it. A smile in the morning, the sight of Avarie celebrating as her team scores a soccer goal, a real hug, the sight of my son running to me as soon as they call "Beau... your mom's here...", even something as simple as watching my daughter learn to tie her shoe.

Of course... it's equally terrifying. Each wobbly step, each tied shoe, each new word she can read on her own... they are all another step away from my safe arms and into the world as a new, independent person. I heard someone say on television just yesterday morning that our job as parents is to teach our kids how to not need us any more, and I thought that summed it up pretty well.

Matt and I are so incredibly blessed with the children that God has chosen to loan us for a time here on Earth. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that they don't really belong to me - they belong to Him - and He celebrates each victory with us. I'm blessed to have a husband who feels an equal responsibility that the children that we have been blessed with must grow up knowing that we love them and that we support them no matter what, but also that in the end they belong to the Father and must live as we do according to His word and His will. We aren't promised that this life will be easy - and in my experience the things that are really worth it never are. I love the way the Message puts it...

^31-33Jesus answered them, "Do you finally believe? In fact, you're about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." John 16:33

I find myself wondering how many of the little victories I celebrate with God each day. How many time that I stop to think about the little victories that He's accorded me, and if He's doing the happy dance in Heaven with me. I've spent a lot of my life pursuing big dreams. I achieved obtaining my doctorate at 31 while working full time as a middle school teacher and while having two small children. In fact, if you didn't know I took my comp exams on a Friday and had Beau on the next Monday (because I rescheduled the c-section around my comp exams - true story... I've never seen such crazy looks from nurses before...they could tell I'd lost touch with reality). I know how to pursue big dreams. But in the end I've found that as I've become a parent, it's the little dreams that life is made up of. Beau is mastering potty training and Avarie learns to read better every day. I can't wait to see the great and wonderful small victories that await me tomorrow....

Truth is - getting fit ain't pretty!

So... I am in the process of getting fitter and trying to get rid of some of the "excess" that I packed on during the last few years. Truth is someone asking you when you are due and the answer being two years ago is NOT fun (uhm..hmm... not that that has ever happened to me...). I wanted to lose some weight, but my main goal is that I've got to be in better health. I want to be around for my kids - and grandkids - and maybe I'll be blessed enough to be around for my great-grandkids to bounce around on my knee. 


So I'm getting fit - and the truth is - it ain't pretty. I'm a sweaty yucky grunty stinky mess in the gym... for real! So why is it that I open the magazines and I see these great pictures of perfectly coiffed, ridiculously happy people who are supposedly mid-workout?!? 

You won't find me smiling like this while I'm working out... 

(except for when my trainer is cracking me up and making me laugh...but I STILL don't look this happy...)

I don't even have this "pretty" intense look...
(or those abs)

This is more me 

(although it isn't me but I think you get the point)

   So... there I am - grunting and sweating and thinking evil thoughts about my harmlessly nice, perpetually positive, and constantly encouraging trainer. And it ain't pretty. And no matter how hard I work I have to remind myself that the stars on the front of the magazines look that way because they have teams of stylists, nannies, trainers, chefs, and tons of time to spend in the gym (plus a whole lot of airbrushing). And the people from the magazines are posing... NOT working out. 

Truth is... I WANT to be lazy. I WANT to eat a hamburger and french fries. Oh my goodness... If you had an Oreo Blizzard in your hand I might knock you down and take it... BUT the real truth is that I want my future more. 

So for now I'll keep going to the gym and sweating like a pig and grunting like one of those crazy people and shooting poor Rob daggers as I trail behind his 6'8" self all over the gym (and I do KNOW what a great luxury having a trainer is...we'll save that for another post), because those are the choices that last far beyond that delicious creamy bite of Oreo Blizzard (so delicious...*tear*).  

Yeah... something like that...

So if you are waiting to go to the gym because you're afraid of how you'll look, don't be. Fortunately most of the other people there look like me too and nothing like the magazines. The folks at my gym have made me more confident in my sweaty grunty self. And don't be afraid to go for the strength training section just because you are a girl. There have been so many benefits just from those workouts that I've seen already and I'm no where near the end of my journey (hello toned butt... I've missed you...). In girl terms - I put on a pair of jeans today... wait for it... straight OUT OF THE DRYER! That's right... without all that crazy "stretching" that you have do to get them on and avoid that "donelap" - where your belly done lap over your pants - wait... that's just me?!? Awkward! Anywhoo... get out there and get going... or don't... but don't expect it to be pretty....  

And if you see me in public, I don't mind... you can pretend like you don't know me!  :)  

Truth is... 2 year olds DON'T get Daylight Savings Time.

Daylight Savings Time Switch... that biannual time of the year that parents of young children loathe. I totally get the great part about having more daylight and blah bitty blah, and two months from now when my children are enjoying the light outside until 8 p.m. to play it's going to be wonderful, but for right now... I pretty much hate it with a passion. 

You see, my two year old does NOT get daylight savings. Take the combination of dietary issues, normal terrible twoness, and daylight savings time transition and you have a meltdown of Chernobyl proportions at our house... At dinner of course. You know the deal... I don't know what I don't want but I'm sure that I wanted what you offered me before except now I don't want it. If you haven't experienced this yet then simply visit the home of a toddler around the DST switch...or visit any grocery store or public establishment and look for the lady that looks a little crazy around the eyes and like she probably hasn't brushed her hair in a couple of days. In fact, find one of these frazzled ladies any time in the next month and whisper the words "daylight savings time" near her and watch the involuntary twitches begin. The time of year induces it's own special kind of trauma. Even my five year old looked like a zombie on the soccer field  at practice today - literally - I think she was sleeping standing up! 

The real true face of Daylight Savings Time...

You know the real kicker to me? Being the nerd that I am I had to look it up to see what kind of person would come up with such a terrible idea (as it clearly was NOT the parent of a toddler). Most people - myself included - may have thought that it was Benjamin Franklin, but the great resource of wikipedia has told me that it was in fact a man named George Vernon Hudson in 1895. Mr. Hudson was an entomologist in his spare time and wanted more time after work to look for bugs - so he proposed the modern idea of DST and here we are... All of THIS so you can look for some more BUGS?!? I love science and all but really?!? The entire Western (toddler and young child) hemisphere is currently undergoing serious transition issues right now 'cause a guy wanted more time to search for bugs. Mr. Hudson... I'm not a fan. 

The storm has passed for now and it seems like all will be asleep VERY soon... 'til next time dear readers (unless you see me in public... just look for the frazzled twitchy lady... that's me). 

The beginning?

Wellllllll.... my friend Danielle who is an amazing blogger (read her super awesome blog here) convinced me to try it too (along with a couple of others who have been very encouraging) - so here we are... Who knows where this journey will take me... Who knows who will actually read what I have to say... Who knows who will be able to tolerate my irrational love of ellipses... 


At any rate I'm looking for a place to write down the real stuff of life. These are the lessons that I have learned about myself and others as I've walked the road of motherhood for the last six years. These are the lessons that I call "mom truths." Truths like it is possible to love someone so much that it literally hurts to draw breath (a lesson I learned when Avarie was a newborn). Truths like a husband NEVER looked as handsome as when he is changing a dirty diaper, loading a dishwasher, or reading stories with your babies. Truths like when you have two children and a husband the expectation that you will ever again be able to use the restroom alone slowly fades and dies. Truths like no matter how calm the house seems when you get in the shower, the minute you put shampoo in your hair all hell seems to break loose.  

Me and the fam

So here it is... my REAL TRUE LIFE... hugs, kisses, vomit and all!